The moment


Which way to go?

In everyone’s life, there comes ‘the moment’. Its the moment of truth, the moment of realization. Its the moment in which you stop lying to yourself. This is the moment that can turn your world upside down. And that’s when you know, the last man standing is the one who stands up to ‘the moment’.

You have been running all your life. Running away from people, running away from feelings. But did you ever wonder, was the running worth it? What if you have run so far that you can’t find a soul around you. You have been running for years and now you find yourself on a deserted road. No signboards, no directions. And you have nobody who accompanied you on this path. You were proud of walking this road alone once. Once, until ‘the moment’. It is in this moment that you realize that it doesn’t take much to turn the ‘alone‘ to ‘lonely’.

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone

It is in this moment that you wonder if it was a mistake all this while. Maybe you were too dumb to leave the last station. Maybe you were overconfident in thinking that you can take on this road alone. You have missed the last train that he was on, and its a hundred miles. That moment wants you to turn back. Maybe you can still catch him at the last station. What if he never got on the train and was still waiting for you? What if you had been lying to yourself all the while? What if you really needed him but were too egoistic to ask for it? That moment is the moment of decision. You either take a step forward or you turn around. You can see the light at both the ends of the tunnel. But you never know if it is the one with the light of the day or a train coming to run you over.

You are stuck in making a decision, to choose between the right and the wrong, the left and the right. And at that moment, you wonder if there was a midway. Because sometimes things aren’t as simple as just being right or wrong. Sometimes, you don’t want to make the decision. Either way you will hurt someone, either yourself or the people you love the most. And either way you will reflect back on the decision and think if the outcome would have been different if you had taken some other decision. It is difficult, at times impossible, to ‘choose’. Sometimes you voluntarily want to be the beggar just so that you don’t have to make a decision. That doesn’t make you a coward. That doesn’t make you an escapist. You are not running away. It takes a lot of courage to take the life as it comes to you. Unknown and uncontrolled.

Be strong! You’re a hero!